Hey, what happen the other day.. I didn't expect it.. Haha.. You gave me a shock of my life.. Thought we just meet for less then a year your really a girl full of surprises.. Haha.. Seriously, I don't know what to say but I would want to say Yes, I do! Haha.. Urm, I'm not gonna continue any futher.. Bluek! Haha.. See you around dear! ^^
Ryuuku,
Miss you ^^
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
cause I was born to tell you I love you
Hmm.. I don't know why I would have the time to come and blog. I just simply love secondhand serenade, It's just nice.. Just like the song last call and maybe, just remind me of the time I was.. Naive.. Haha.. Now I learnt that love don't just being aquire and just let go because love is something so simple that we want it to be so complicated. Maybe I have think too much into this before. Couldn't sleep, no appetite, moodless all this i have been through but why is this happening? Well I guess it's just simple, I'm practically couldn't accept the fact that.. That I'm being "let go" and I'm actually trying to make someone's life so hard for doing so or in other word I'm just selfish.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
A few song I have written..
Gone…
I used to be so bundle up with problems,
And I always be able counter it all,
And stand back strong,
When there is her…
I used to held all my pain in my heart,
And when I felt like breaking,
I always able to ease it away,
When there is her…
But now it seems everything just not right,
When she’s gone,
Gone from my life…
*Breaking down,
Wanted a hand to hold,
Found nothing but emptiness inside of me.
Crash and burn,
Trying to stand strong,
Act my way out,
In the end just to find she’s gone,
Gone forever from my life…
I used to gain all my confidences,
And able to cope with everything,
And still move on,
When there is her…
But now everything just not in place,
Ripping my heart apart,
Damned my whole life,
When she is no more to be there,
By my side coz…
She’s gone…
Gone from my sight…
**Today I was so badly hurt,
Lying on the little corner,
Looking around searching for that missing part,
The one that ease my pain…
Till I realize…
That missing part is you…
Confused… With my feelings…
So hard to decide,
Which one will be mine?
Will it be her?
Or will it be she?
I just hit the button,
And all things gone so smooth,
Till I realize,
Something just not right…
This feeling just not right,
Holding me back,
Forcing me to think of the past,
To the one I truly loved…
*I think I loved her more then her,
Cause that’s my feeling telling me so,
But when I truly ask my heart,
It reply another…
Then I realize I still can’t let her go,
I’m just confused,
Confused with my feelings…
Nothing I can do,
Listening to the rhythm of my heart,
Nothing I can fake,
My true love lies within her…
I’m So Sorry…
This I couldn’t know what best,
Should I keep up the acting?
Or should I just give in,
To the mistakes I made.
Every night I stare at the lonely sky,
Only to think of my past,
Couldn’t make it go away,
Till I realize she’s no more by my side.
I tried to be someone I’m not,
When we were together,
To not know what best for her,
I failed myself to her…
And to myself…
^Now regretting everything,
Not wanting to have everything back,
But to say I’m sorry…
*I just wanted to say I love you,
Coz I’m still madly in love with you,
I’d have know what been done can’t be undone,
Now just wanted forgiveness from you,
Till then I will walk away,
Away from here…
I thought loving you with all my heart,
Would last your love for me forever,
Now it seems I’m just wrong,
So wrong it kills away our friendship away.
I regret all this happening,
Shouldn’t have say yes,
I felt disgusted by how I treated you before,
I’m so sorry…
Go back to ^
Silent winter
Sat here in my empty room,
My phone kept silent the whole night.
Shouldn’t have been like this,
When I’m suppose to enjoy this Christmas.
I never thought I can be so lonely,
Not even a single greeting,
Not even from the one I loved,
Just so empty like a soul-less body.
Misery taken over me,
Loneliness is my companion for the winter,
But I just don’t know why…
One mistake takes it all,
(All away from me)
For me to lives in this cold,
(Cold and silent winter)
Couldn’t change the fact you’re gone,
(Lost…)
Writing this song to ease my loneliness…
(Loneliness of losing you)
I went down to the Christmas tree,
Santa did came after all,
All the present distributed around,
But my heart tell me,
Something is still missing…
A warmth feeling that I once own,
A comfort when I’m in pain,
Something that I treasure most,
Now lost in this Silent winter…
The warmth feeling of Love now covered in ice…
This… I will always remember
From the first day I fall in love,
The feeling just so right,
It felt so comfortable and warmth,
Something that men will not resists.
The touch of your hands,
Enlighten my day,
And a simple Hi from your lips,
Make my days lasted.
Thought now your not here anymore,
Not that I ask for more,
Just wanted this feeling to last,
Cause this feeling I will get no more,
All those memories,
This… I will always remember…
Everyday I look at the midnight sky,
Thinking everything is just so perfect,
Though sometimes my heart aches,
But I’m not regretting,
Cause…
What you’re gave me I will always remember…
Maybe this chapter have ended,
Holding this love may seem stupid,
But this… I will always remember…
I used to be so bundle up with problems,
And I always be able counter it all,
And stand back strong,
When there is her…
I used to held all my pain in my heart,
And when I felt like breaking,
I always able to ease it away,
When there is her…
But now it seems everything just not right,
When she’s gone,
Gone from my life…
*Breaking down,
Wanted a hand to hold,
Found nothing but emptiness inside of me.
Crash and burn,
Trying to stand strong,
Act my way out,
In the end just to find she’s gone,
Gone forever from my life…
I used to gain all my confidences,
And able to cope with everything,
And still move on,
When there is her…
But now everything just not in place,
Ripping my heart apart,
Damned my whole life,
When she is no more to be there,
By my side coz…
She’s gone…
Gone from my sight…
**Today I was so badly hurt,
Lying on the little corner,
Looking around searching for that missing part,
The one that ease my pain…
Till I realize…
That missing part is you…
Confused… With my feelings…
So hard to decide,
Which one will be mine?
Will it be her?
Or will it be she?
I just hit the button,
And all things gone so smooth,
Till I realize,
Something just not right…
This feeling just not right,
Holding me back,
Forcing me to think of the past,
To the one I truly loved…
*I think I loved her more then her,
Cause that’s my feeling telling me so,
But when I truly ask my heart,
It reply another…
Then I realize I still can’t let her go,
I’m just confused,
Confused with my feelings…
Nothing I can do,
Listening to the rhythm of my heart,
Nothing I can fake,
My true love lies within her…
I’m So Sorry…
This I couldn’t know what best,
Should I keep up the acting?
Or should I just give in,
To the mistakes I made.
Every night I stare at the lonely sky,
Only to think of my past,
Couldn’t make it go away,
Till I realize she’s no more by my side.
I tried to be someone I’m not,
When we were together,
To not know what best for her,
I failed myself to her…
And to myself…
^Now regretting everything,
Not wanting to have everything back,
But to say I’m sorry…
*I just wanted to say I love you,
Coz I’m still madly in love with you,
I’d have know what been done can’t be undone,
Now just wanted forgiveness from you,
Till then I will walk away,
Away from here…
I thought loving you with all my heart,
Would last your love for me forever,
Now it seems I’m just wrong,
So wrong it kills away our friendship away.
I regret all this happening,
Shouldn’t have say yes,
I felt disgusted by how I treated you before,
I’m so sorry…
Go back to ^
Silent winter
Sat here in my empty room,
My phone kept silent the whole night.
Shouldn’t have been like this,
When I’m suppose to enjoy this Christmas.
I never thought I can be so lonely,
Not even a single greeting,
Not even from the one I loved,
Just so empty like a soul-less body.
Misery taken over me,
Loneliness is my companion for the winter,
But I just don’t know why…
One mistake takes it all,
(All away from me)
For me to lives in this cold,
(Cold and silent winter)
Couldn’t change the fact you’re gone,
(Lost…)
Writing this song to ease my loneliness…
(Loneliness of losing you)
I went down to the Christmas tree,
Santa did came after all,
All the present distributed around,
But my heart tell me,
Something is still missing…
A warmth feeling that I once own,
A comfort when I’m in pain,
Something that I treasure most,
Now lost in this Silent winter…
The warmth feeling of Love now covered in ice…
This… I will always remember
From the first day I fall in love,
The feeling just so right,
It felt so comfortable and warmth,
Something that men will not resists.
The touch of your hands,
Enlighten my day,
And a simple Hi from your lips,
Make my days lasted.
Thought now your not here anymore,
Not that I ask for more,
Just wanted this feeling to last,
Cause this feeling I will get no more,
All those memories,
This… I will always remember…
Everyday I look at the midnight sky,
Thinking everything is just so perfect,
Though sometimes my heart aches,
But I’m not regretting,
Cause…
What you’re gave me I will always remember…
Maybe this chapter have ended,
Holding this love may seem stupid,
But this… I will always remember…
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Sometimes.. Stars will always remain as stars..
Today I lay myself down,
next to my window glass,
Watching the sun subside,
and moon replacing the sun.
Silent began to close my ears,
and Light begins to fade away.
I'm begin to shiver in fear,
Slowly losing,
the feeling of warmth and tender.
My adrenaline rushes,
Blood rushes to my brain,
I close my eyes tightly and pray,
as Darkness consume my soul.
Suddenly I felt relief,
floating gently across my bed,
Two hands wrap around my waist,
and wings shell-ed me.
When I open my eyes,
nothing but bright light around me,
All I can see or what I can feel,
I feel warmth and safe.
HE whisper into my ears,
my heart stop beating for a few second,
Lungs suffocated and tears begins to fall,
not knowing whether is Joy or Fear..
An angel have came to me,
as my prayers being answered,
Father in Heaven came to me,
and save me using his "own"
As the sun rises,
I see HIM walking away,
I fainted right that instant,
and never to feel the same way again..
next to my window glass,
Watching the sun subside,
and moon replacing the sun.
Silent began to close my ears,
and Light begins to fade away.
I'm begin to shiver in fear,
Slowly losing,
the feeling of warmth and tender.
My adrenaline rushes,
Blood rushes to my brain,
I close my eyes tightly and pray,
as Darkness consume my soul.
Suddenly I felt relief,
floating gently across my bed,
Two hands wrap around my waist,
and wings shell-ed me.
When I open my eyes,
nothing but bright light around me,
All I can see or what I can feel,
I feel warmth and safe.
HE whisper into my ears,
my heart stop beating for a few second,
Lungs suffocated and tears begins to fall,
not knowing whether is Joy or Fear..
An angel have came to me,
as my prayers being answered,
Father in Heaven came to me,
and save me using his "own"
As the sun rises,
I see HIM walking away,
I fainted right that instant,
and never to feel the same way again..
Sunday, March 04, 2007
3 words..
The three words that linked us all,
and the three words that lied to all our hearts,
The three words that make our day,
and also crushed our hearts.
Being said so many times,
being repeated by the same "I"
Does it not bring any meaning,
the meaning of what we once care.
So easy to be said,
so hard to be done,
So easy to memorize,
yet so hard to keep it alive..
True love hardly exist anymore,
yet love is being phrase wherever we go,
Those 3 words that leads to pain and joy,
Just as simple as 123..
Say it when u mean it,
Say it when u need it,
Say it ONLY when u believe in it,
only by then,
Love can be revive..
Secret Tear Scars Forever, While True Love We Musn't Let Go
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep?
When we cry?
When we imagine?
When we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful things in the world
are unseen.
We are all a little weird
and life's a little weird
and when we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
There are things that we never want to let go of,
people we never want to leave behind,
but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world,
it's the beginning of a new life.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,
those who have searched and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of the people
who have touched their lives.
A great love..
It's when you shed tears and still you care for him,
it's when he ignores you and still you long for him.
It's when he begins to love another
and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.
If love fails, set yourself free,
let your heart spread its wings and fly again.
Remember you may find love and lose it,
but when love dies,you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win
but those who stand back up when they fall.
Somehow along the course of life,
you learn about yourself and realize
there should never be regrets,
only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
A true friend understands when you say, I forgot,
waits forever when you say, just a minute,
stays when you say leave me alone,
opens the door even before you knock
and says can I come in?
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive,
not how you listen but how you understand,
not what you see but how you feel,
and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.
Outward tears can be wiped away
while secret tears scar forever.
In love, very rarely do we win
but when love is true, even if you lose,
you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone
more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone
not because that person has stopped loving us
but because we have found out
that they'd be happier if we let go.
It's best to wait for the one you want
than settle for one that's available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.
Best to wait for the right one
because life is too short to waste on just someone.
Sometimes the one you love
turns out to be the one who hurts you the most,
and sometimes the friend who takes you
into his arms and cries when you cry
turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.
If you really love someone never let go,
don't believe that letting go means that you love best,
instead fight for your love,that's what true love is.
Laugh to your heart's content; you cannot go through life without it.
*This poem really brought a lot of meanings to us,
alot of thing that wasn't told when we first set out.
And now written on the face of a full-ed moon,
We sat by here reading the scripture,
The scripture written for the name of Love itself.. Quoted by Yan Ng..
When we cry?
When we imagine?
When we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful things in the world
are unseen.
We are all a little weird
and life's a little weird
and when we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
There are things that we never want to let go of,
people we never want to leave behind,
but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world,
it's the beginning of a new life.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,
those who have searched and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of the people
who have touched their lives.
A great love..
It's when you shed tears and still you care for him,
it's when he ignores you and still you long for him.
It's when he begins to love another
and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.
If love fails, set yourself free,
let your heart spread its wings and fly again.
Remember you may find love and lose it,
but when love dies,you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win
but those who stand back up when they fall.
Somehow along the course of life,
you learn about yourself and realize
there should never be regrets,
only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
A true friend understands when you say, I forgot,
waits forever when you say, just a minute,
stays when you say leave me alone,
opens the door even before you knock
and says can I come in?
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive,
not how you listen but how you understand,
not what you see but how you feel,
and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.
Outward tears can be wiped away
while secret tears scar forever.
In love, very rarely do we win
but when love is true, even if you lose,
you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone
more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone
not because that person has stopped loving us
but because we have found out
that they'd be happier if we let go.
It's best to wait for the one you want
than settle for one that's available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.
Best to wait for the right one
because life is too short to waste on just someone.
Sometimes the one you love
turns out to be the one who hurts you the most,
and sometimes the friend who takes you
into his arms and cries when you cry
turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.
If you really love someone never let go,
don't believe that letting go means that you love best,
instead fight for your love,that's what true love is.
Laugh to your heart's content; you cannot go through life without it.
*This poem really brought a lot of meanings to us,
alot of thing that wasn't told when we first set out.
And now written on the face of a full-ed moon,
We sat by here reading the scripture,
The scripture written for the name of Love itself.. Quoted by Yan Ng..
Today is Chap Goh Meh
What a day I would have call. In the morning I went to church, afternoon tuition and at night I got my chap goh meh Dinner. We're having a garden party at my house, we got steamboats and even fried section done by our chef, Mr. Alvin.. And so, the food was awesome.. My mother spent the whole afternoon making it all.. Splendid I would have say..
When we starts to play firecrackers.. The canon type.. Tan's father have come out and complain to us that we frighten the dog where our neighbour is playing the exact same thing and they keep playing till 10++ How sux..
I was bored that time so I sat down outside with my bestiest, Laptop.. Haha.. With wireless connection.. She's my best.. XD So I was on my internet while enjoying the flying crackers.. but then.. I felt.. I felt lonely.. Like there is something missing.. I look at my phone, few messages, I look at my msger, Charmaine playing pm game with me.. Okay.. but the thing is.. I'm feeling.. Lonely.. Like there's just something.. Something Just not right.. Something missing from my life.. It just frighten me.. I feel so horrible, like my heart being pierce by a wicked tortured dagger.. That drills in and out of my hearts.. I tried to seek for the answer but it just not there.. And when look into the sky, I suddenly thought of her.. And it just stays there and never to go away.. And from there on, I knew excatly what's the answer was..
When we starts to play firecrackers.. The canon type.. Tan's father have come out and complain to us that we frighten the dog where our neighbour is playing the exact same thing and they keep playing till 10++ How sux..
I was bored that time so I sat down outside with my bestiest, Laptop.. Haha.. With wireless connection.. She's my best.. XD So I was on my internet while enjoying the flying crackers.. but then.. I felt.. I felt lonely.. Like there is something missing.. I look at my phone, few messages, I look at my msger, Charmaine playing pm game with me.. Okay.. but the thing is.. I'm feeling.. Lonely.. Like there's just something.. Something Just not right.. Something missing from my life.. It just frighten me.. I feel so horrible, like my heart being pierce by a wicked tortured dagger.. That drills in and out of my hearts.. I tried to seek for the answer but it just not there.. And when look into the sky, I suddenly thought of her.. And it just stays there and never to go away.. And from there on, I knew excatly what's the answer was..
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Now I can life my old life.. I think..
My 178days,
Ah~ Now everything feels so much lighter.. Cause my days on that love was way long.. I used to not get enough sleep because of the dreams I keep getting late at night because of her.. Feeling so miserable because of missing her, feeling so depressed when she just walk away, feeling so sick when she just angry at you.. It's like everything matters.. So badly it hurts till my very heart and soul.. and now everything coming to an end.. Wah, even the first day of Pmr.. I was still wondering whether is she coming to say goodluck or not.. Apprently she didn't and made me so moodless the whole freaking Bm test.. Chis.. This prove how powerful is love to make someone lose their mind and lose control..
And now Valentine is so near, should I or should I not decide to find a new Gf? Someone told me today, "Don't treat someone so well, cause by the time u find a new one you will regret doing all this for that someone.." Maybe she is right.. and I do need a close companion sometimes.. Cause now everytime I'm sad or depressed.. There is no more sound where this person come and cheer me up.. but I just can't take the fact of getting a new gf and being dump again.. It really hurt and I know I will never love another girl like this anymore.. Which mean my coming love will just be a normal love.. Nothing more special bout it.. Yet I'm afraid I might hurt that girl... Everything is link.. and now I'm thinking whether should I or should I not get a gf.. Maybe just not.. maybe..
"Change for the better, live for the mightiest, and triumph over the pasts" My Quote for today..
~Ryuuku~
Ah~ Now everything feels so much lighter.. Cause my days on that love was way long.. I used to not get enough sleep because of the dreams I keep getting late at night because of her.. Feeling so miserable because of missing her, feeling so depressed when she just walk away, feeling so sick when she just angry at you.. It's like everything matters.. So badly it hurts till my very heart and soul.. and now everything coming to an end.. Wah, even the first day of Pmr.. I was still wondering whether is she coming to say goodluck or not.. Apprently she didn't and made me so moodless the whole freaking Bm test.. Chis.. This prove how powerful is love to make someone lose their mind and lose control..
And now Valentine is so near, should I or should I not decide to find a new Gf? Someone told me today, "Don't treat someone so well, cause by the time u find a new one you will regret doing all this for that someone.." Maybe she is right.. and I do need a close companion sometimes.. Cause now everytime I'm sad or depressed.. There is no more sound where this person come and cheer me up.. but I just can't take the fact of getting a new gf and being dump again.. It really hurt and I know I will never love another girl like this anymore.. Which mean my coming love will just be a normal love.. Nothing more special bout it.. Yet I'm afraid I might hurt that girl... Everything is link.. and now I'm thinking whether should I or should I not get a gf.. Maybe just not.. maybe..
"Change for the better, live for the mightiest, and triumph over the pasts" My Quote for today..
~Ryuuku~
Monday, February 05, 2007
I miss those days.. When we're sitting under that freaking shelther, cursing that freaking you know what.. Haha..
My replies said:
Now you have mention it, I do miss those days..
Reli I do..
KFC Day, then devil's day.. Then still go on..
Haha..
Your right.. I prefer being your daddy more.. Haha..
Can bully you more.. Wahahaha~
Then kena pinch pinch back..
Swt.. *Snap* Haha..
And the two finger gesture.. Haha..
So long lo never see you do..
Maybe cause we rarely talk even..
And to know it now it's not really that late ey..
Well off we go the melboury bush.. the melboury bush.. Haha..
So.. Can we be friends again? Best friend I mean..
Pinky? Haha.. Im so kiddish..
Start all over again like 3 years ago you were hanging on to the tiang.. Haha..
I still rmb the face of yours when u found out im cikgu Lucy's son..
So damn freaking funny.. and Lina volunteer to invite me to the dinner..
*whoosh* Snap snap.. Haha..
Just forget bout the past yeah.. Like you said..
P.A.S.T
Positively As DE Suckiest Thing.. Haha..
Distance is a scalar( measure-able )
Can be change one ma.. Minus minus the distance..
Haha.. No more lo right? Hehe..
Your are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you made me happy when skies are grey..
You never know dear,
How much I love you,
so please don't take my sunshine away.. XD
Er.. wrong song.. Haha..Janji la shine kan? XD
Wah.. Banyak I tulis liao..
Hehe.. Buai-buai..
Ryuuku~ Yan Ng! XD
For this love..
Why can’t you just take me back as the one you love?
Why..? I couldn’t understand,
For I have truly love you with all my heart,
Till my very bones,
My heart beats till the ocean beds could hear...
But why can’t you...
Maybe for you I’m nothing...
Just another boy in your life that likes you,
And when you start to love another,
Could you imagine how sorrow and bitter my heart encounters?
But I guess you and I know well,
We’re off and never to bound again...
Maybe this feeling of mine to you meant nothing at all...
Nor the single attachment could be found.
Maybe I just meant nothing to you,
Not even a place in your very heart...
And when you turn around and leave,
It hurts even though you just turn for a glimpse..
If you can just know how much you mean to me,
I’ll just silently walk away..
Until the day you began to notice me again..
FallenAngel..
Why..? I couldn’t understand,
For I have truly love you with all my heart,
Till my very bones,
My heart beats till the ocean beds could hear...
But why can’t you...
Maybe for you I’m nothing...
Just another boy in your life that likes you,
And when you start to love another,
Could you imagine how sorrow and bitter my heart encounters?
But I guess you and I know well,
We’re off and never to bound again...
Maybe this feeling of mine to you meant nothing at all...
Nor the single attachment could be found.
Maybe I just meant nothing to you,
Not even a place in your very heart...
And when you turn around and leave,
It hurts even though you just turn for a glimpse..
If you can just know how much you mean to me,
I’ll just silently walk away..
Until the day you began to notice me again..
FallenAngel..
Sob..
I flunk my addmaths.. it's so stupid.. I don't know what to do now.. I'm feeling so frus !!! Why!! I punch that freaking wall till my hand hurts edi.. Yan!! Why r u so stupid?! Can't you be any smarter?! It's just simple addmaths.. It just functions!! Fg(x)=2x+1 nia ma.. This one is so easy and how come I don't know how to do.. I Flunked !! I Flunked badly!!
..
Yan, just go die.. you good for nothing boy..
..
sob..
Ryuuku..
..
Yan, just go die.. you good for nothing boy..
..
sob..
Ryuuku..
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Day 172, Sunday.. Not so hot not so cold..
Valentine so near, yet my couplED friends keep asking me to go out and like who don't know I'm single here. Ha ha. Of course I didn't expect to find one in a matter of 172 days before. ha ha. but Life goes on, and I will celebrate my Valentine with.. I don't know.. Alone la..
but knowing it's a freaking Valentine and you have no one to celebrate with.. It kinda hurt le..
Macam la tidak ada org mau u like that.. Haiy..
and so, there is never a hope for me to gain back what been done.
Weee.. So jiwang now.. I'm not afraid to confess that the girl I once together I still Loves her. It just a matter of days before she went of to Aussie and never I can see her again. Probally decline my parent wish to go Teknik for the sake of seeing her for one last year is worth it. couldn't believe I stand up just for that. but I know, she will neveer notice me and so will for the rest o my life..
and so..
~Ryuuku~
but knowing it's a freaking Valentine and you have no one to celebrate with.. It kinda hurt le..
Macam la tidak ada org mau u like that.. Haiy..
and so, there is never a hope for me to gain back what been done.
Weee.. So jiwang now.. I'm not afraid to confess that the girl I once together I still Loves her. It just a matter of days before she went of to Aussie and never I can see her again. Probally decline my parent wish to go Teknik for the sake of seeing her for one last year is worth it. couldn't believe I stand up just for that. but I know, she will neveer notice me and so will for the rest o my life..
and so..
~Ryuuku~
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
mok so cham a..
| Haiy.. My mok only got 4As.. 3 Bs.. Why.. Sejarah and Geo I didnt study la.. Atleast got 70 both.. But Bm.. Haiyo.. why 70 also? Celaka.. I don't care la.. PMR !!! must be A !!! HMPH !! Study hard !! Study Smart !! I must !! ~yan ~ |
Saturday, September 16, 2006
A month away from you..
Been a month, Now's its 16 of September 2006..
One month ago on this same day, she broke up with me..
I feel so defeat when she told me..
Knowing she still like that cool guy..
Nothing more I can do,
to repair this situation,
cause love cannot be force,
and cause I respect her decision..
Sometimes, I really felt hurt..
I feel like screaming,
shout everything out..
And let it burst through my lungs..
sometimes I felt like kicking it away,
but the more i wanted,
the more it hurt me,
and end-ed up hurting myself..
Now my life is so empty,
so silent,
that a needle drop can be heard,
and a surrounding of sorrows..
I couldn't change it,
only to smile so it will break away,
though this is so hurt-ful,
hoping it won't be the same anymore..
I letting everything go today,
letting the words we share to break away.
letting the world we created falls,
And letting my love go..
One month ago on this same day, she broke up with me..
I feel so defeat when she told me..
Knowing she still like that cool guy..
Nothing more I can do,
to repair this situation,
cause love cannot be force,
and cause I respect her decision..
Sometimes, I really felt hurt..
I feel like screaming,
shout everything out..
And let it burst through my lungs..
sometimes I felt like kicking it away,
but the more i wanted,
the more it hurt me,
and end-ed up hurting myself..
Now my life is so empty,
so silent,
that a needle drop can be heard,
and a surrounding of sorrows..
I couldn't change it,
only to smile so it will break away,
though this is so hurt-ful,
hoping it won't be the same anymore..
I letting everything go today,
letting the words we share to break away.
letting the world we created falls,
And letting my love go..
Friday, September 15, 2006
Haha.. This is the result of learning piano without going to classes..
Haha.. This is one of the Cronology of me playing the piano.. Lol... First.. It was fun..
I spent nights and nights just to learn this song for.. Er.. got la.. Haha.. First it was so hard because I'm not used to play two handed piano.. But i didnt give up.. And manage to play breakaway.. Lol.. To remember this moment.. I took a picture of myself playing it proudly.. ( who don't, I manage to learn how to play that song by my own with no piano learning background and on my own somemore and that piece is not an easy piece to play yeah know.. )
Ok.. See.. I'm playing the piano !! Haha.. Thought it's not as nice as er Richard Clederment.. Lol.. Duh.. but atleast la.. ok as time go on, I manage to play some other song.. Thought it was hard for me.. I even planned to play the songs I learnt for nights on her birthday but no more.. so now.. I gave up in learning piano anymore.. Lol..
And this is how i look like after that.. Lol..
It's a bit absurb but atleast it's in my cronology.. Haha..And now,
I'm reaching back to what I'm suppose to do.. My dreams somewhere out there.. Haha...
haha.. the end.. XD
963 !
Atenttion !! : This blog is created for the sake of making a joke and not for real.. Her real information will not be exposed and this is not to be taken seriously.. PLease ! Be advised that this is just a joke.. PLease be reminded.. Thank Q..
Well.. This is a story about a girl who live somewhere in kuching..
She was a cherish and happy girl, walking at the centre of Kuching.. but due to some condition.. Something happen and she have been infected with this disease..
Sometime at 7.00Pm last night.. We spotted her disease start to attack her and we recognise this disease as the "singing" disease, This disease or more to known as "Katak-katak singing" as called by our scientist, Dr. Emmanuel ( Just for fun ) It is said that if this condition goes on, she might in the end face problem.. stop singing and fear most.. She might.. NOOOOOOOOO !!!!!! Sing for the REST of he life !! Ahem.. Continue on...
Till now, our scientist Dr. Emmanuel still unable to find the cause for this deadly disease.. For precaution, we have the authorities arrested her and kept her in a special cell we build at XXX island.. Her Bf, Joshua Voon is very upset bout this inncident and have devoted his life by staying together with her in the cell.. We fear that this disease can spread through air and might infect our brave scientist in working but he, didn't give up and embrace himself for the worst..
Meanwhile,
We have stopped her from singing by supply her with laptops.. The results was promising but after a while.. She acted strange and began to jump around.. This is the prove...
SEE !!! Its so... Frightening !! May God Bless her...
Without choices, her bf risk his life by singing her lullaby.. Miracle, she fell asleep and till now, she still sleep like a baby..OKay.. To keep our scientist identity under cover. He, Dr Emmanuel have created a potion which can turn him into some other form and now working under his full force to help this poor girl in need.. But shockingly, we found something out of the ordinary and was caught on picture..
Wow.. His research on human tranformation is so perfect that this picture look so real..
*Applause applause...*
2 month later..
Yes !!! I finally find the cure !! Wahaahahhaha ~ The formula !! Wahahahahaha~ I need to give this to someone.. Before.. ( bang !! )
2 days later, Dr Emm was found in a coma and now being cure at the USM hospital.. Mrs Emm was there to take care of him ( Stefa........... ) XD Fear not, with her extra-superb-lihai-gentle-horrifying care, Dr. Emm will be alright.. I guess... huhu..
DOCTOR !! DOCTOR !! His awake !! (Mrs Emm shouted)
Operation room...
*moment later..*
(Dramatic scenes, Mrs Emm doing the "will he be okay" scene while Me and the rest of our crew was eating popcorn watching.. Wahahahah~)
(Door opened with a loud bang)
Mrs Emm:"Don't bang the door !! I hate that !! (Then she gave out a small cough and start to cry and dramaticly walk towards the doctors.. )
In the wad..
Who am I ? Where am I? Arrrgghh !!!
*watch out for our next episode.. Will Dr Emm get his memories back..? Will Mrs Emm ever gonna get back her beloved Husband? XD Will The girl be cure..? Will Joshua ever be free again? Find out in our next episode in 9.6.3 !!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Er..
Sigh~ I'm feeling so sick.. Mok is on, my head is like a ton heavier.. So much pressure, so much stress.. N I'm stil smiling.. Hahaha... Why? So I won't feel as bad as it look..
wah.. My Legs so painful, drop down.. Aduh.. Nevermind la.. Haha.. Wow... KHB a ~ Aduh.. Study la.. Continue after a while..
wah.. My Legs so painful, drop down.. Aduh.. Nevermind la.. Haha.. Wow... KHB a ~ Aduh.. Study la.. Continue after a while..
Thursday, September 07, 2006
I'm lying to myself as this would be the only way..
Hmm.. Its have already been month since we broke up.. but I still can't forget her.. Maybe It's just me..
Well.. This is the first time I really love someone.. So I'm trying to be as serious as I can be, maybe because of that I still can't forget her.. Now.. I'm trying to cover my real feelings.. It hurts, but its for her good.. For she still love "him" so much, I won't want to add any more pressure for her.. For she's still young, naive person.. I hope she will find her way out one day..
Today, My friends told me something that she told him.. Something that make my heart question.. she said, "we broke up and it's not my fault, so I don't feel anything.." I was shocked.. Ok.. Maybe it is my fault.. Haiy.. Sometimes, looking at her picture makes me miss her even more.. The "R" she gave me.. I couldn't bare to even put it away from me.. I guess I just being stupid..
Pretending to laugh infront of her, pretending that I'm ok without her, pretending that I'm still that one person she meet before, pretending that I like another girl.. It does HURT.. But I know if I don't do this, I might make her life much more miserable, and since her semester is so near.. I won't want to add any more pressure for her.. for she still love that kid in Sibu.. I know I have lost since the beginning.. People ask me why I don't hate her, yet I still care so much for her.. All I can answer is.. I do hate her but deep inside.. I know I can't.. No matter what I do.. I won't be able to hate her.. I still want to care for her.. Like I always do..
~Yan~
I'm sorry..
Well.. This is the first time I really love someone.. So I'm trying to be as serious as I can be, maybe because of that I still can't forget her.. Now.. I'm trying to cover my real feelings.. It hurts, but its for her good.. For she still love "him" so much, I won't want to add any more pressure for her.. For she's still young, naive person.. I hope she will find her way out one day..
Today, My friends told me something that she told him.. Something that make my heart question.. she said, "we broke up and it's not my fault, so I don't feel anything.." I was shocked.. Ok.. Maybe it is my fault.. Haiy.. Sometimes, looking at her picture makes me miss her even more.. The "R" she gave me.. I couldn't bare to even put it away from me.. I guess I just being stupid..
Pretending to laugh infront of her, pretending that I'm ok without her, pretending that I'm still that one person she meet before, pretending that I like another girl.. It does HURT.. But I know if I don't do this, I might make her life much more miserable, and since her semester is so near.. I won't want to add any more pressure for her.. for she still love that kid in Sibu.. I know I have lost since the beginning.. People ask me why I don't hate her, yet I still care so much for her.. All I can answer is.. I do hate her but deep inside.. I know I can't.. No matter what I do.. I won't be able to hate her.. I still want to care for her.. Like I always do..
~Yan~
I'm sorry..
Starting this to end my past..
I'm starting a new blog.. So that what have past could go away as this blog will make me turn over a new leaf.. A new future.. Sometimes, I'm just trying to forget everything but I just can't.. So.. Hope this could help..
~FallenAngel~
~FallenAngel~
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